Walking into April, I thought that I was finally walking into my season. However, what I walked into, was the final phase before actually walking into my season. One filled with silence, introspection, seclusion and hella purging. The purging of people, mindsets and things that no longer served me, and hindered me from becoming the best version of myself.
Through all of this, I came out on the other end with so many lessons learned, but most importantly, the pieces I needed to actually assume all that I had learned. We look at becoming the best version of our selves, as this thing that just happens. What we don't consider, is at what point do we actually become that person? At what point do we turn over the keys to our old lives, and thought processes to assume the new life that we're creating for ourselves?
This, is what I ultimately, want to explore through September's series, Stepping into Your Season, Take Two. I also want to caveat this, by saying that we all go through a many of seasons that all have peaks and lows. In reference to my "winning season" though, I whole heartedly believe, that this season, is one phase post my foundational phase, and the catalyst to many more seasons to come, that I assume with both ebb and flow.
To start though below are a few things that I realized, during the final purge before my current winning season.
I tend to often look at, and treat life like a game. One where if you complete your tasks, you'll be able to unlock new levels, and be taken to new heights. Continuing the conversation of learning the lessons in your losses, we have to activate what we've learned. Now that we know it, we must become it.
Which ultimately comes down to understanding what you can and can't take with you to the next phase of your journey. What parts of you, are hindering your ability to progress? Which of course, looks differently for all of us. This can be some as "simple," as the inability to stand up for yourself, but this could also be something, at deeply rooted as fear. Take some time to understand, and detach yourself from this.
Everyone has their own methods of manifestation, and I encourage your to explore, which work best for you. During the last full moon, I spent some time meditating on the things that no longer served me, and what I wanted to let go of. From that day forward, I can honestly say that I no longer feel rooted to those things, and from there, I shifted into my current winning season.
Change is something that few people actually do. Many talk about it, and many fear it, but few, actually recognize what needs to be changed, and acts accordingly.
In a state of constant evolvement, you are outgrowing everything, and everybody. Even the version of yourself that you once knew. Given this, you may lookup and realize that you no longer relate to anyone around you.
For those who are viewing this change, many of them will question its legitimacy or be unable to fathom the rate of change. Unless you believe that you can "get them to understand," you're going to have to let them go, or live with the knowing that they don't. Either way, your relationship with them becomes different after this point.
From another perspective, there are those, who you'll want to change with you. What we have to understand though, is that everyone changes on their own timeline. While you can try to plant seeds, they'll ultimately have to water the garden of their own mind. Given the depth of those new found fundamental differences, they may no longer be able, to hold space in your life, and you'll have to be okay with that.
After purging possibly many of the people, you once found to be staples in your life, it can leave you feeling lonely as fuck, trust me. You can even feel like a Black sheep, or on an island in your beliefs. I utilized this emptiness, and turned it into a yearning for community, tribe and love. Therefore, with the Virgo New Moon that just passed, I set the intention of bringing those things into my life; and I am marrying my intentions with that as well.
Another thing I had to remember here, is that my friendly ass has made friends all over the globe, who are able to relate to me, in my current state of evolvement. So I started deepening those relationships as well. For a while I've felt "othered," but I had to realize that there is community for me, and that I had to purge my pre-existing one, to acknowledge that, and find it.