I feel like each week Grown-ish peels back another layer, of again topics that are not only relevant timing wise, but culturally as well. I love how, episode 10 laid out the main topic in the first two minutes of the show, and then unpacked it from different angles throughout. Therefore, on this week's analysis, I will be looking at three angles they showed, regarding Black women and dating "politics."
BLACK WOMEN AS LEAST DESIRABLE
After watching a few dating shows, and a couple of miniature stints on dating apps, it had me wanting to do a study on the rate Black women are actually "selected." I'll have to keep it 100 here though, and acknowledge my light skin privilege, and note that "light skin" Black women are not seen as "undesirable," as our deeper melinated sisters. Grown-ish showed how Black women are least likely to be chosen on dating apps, and that non Black men, even show bias against Black women.
Therefore, after the initial scene, Jazz and Sky brought the conversation to the larger group, including Ana and Nomi. Noting how the majority of mainstream Black men have non-Black or racially ambiguous partners. Showing pictures of a slew of different men, and their wives.
I'll be honest here, in that, this "phenomenon" used to trouble me until I realized that a man that doesn't want a Black woman is not the man for me. While the issue as a whole, is bigger than my personal preference, I whole heartedly, believe in meeting people where they are. Forgive me for being honest, but from what I've gathered, is that a lot of the allure around wanting to have an "exotic" spouse, is that these men are looking for a silent beard, and not an actual partner. It seems like they're more interested in have having someone to control rather than having someone to contribute, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. Which is exactly why, I can't offer up any more energy on being mad at them.
I love the scene where after Jazz sends back a drink, Nomi tries to insinuate that the reason Jazz has a problem with Black men, is because of her "attitude." Sky flipped it though, showing how Nomi sends back drinks all the time, and because Jazz did it, its made out to be a character flaw.
In college, white girls get the opportunity to be kids, to be careless, to make mistakes, and to just have fun. Which we see through Nomi talking about how she took down someone from every Olympic country besides Canada. We've seen Nomi be hella carefree this entire season, and thats okay, I just wish, Black girls were able to do the same. I felt for Jazz when she mentioned how she wanted to have the same freeing college experience as Ana and Nomi.
I brought it up a little earlier in the season around the topic of Nomi dating a guy who was bisexual, and that men deserve the same fluidity that women have. I'll take it one further, and note that Black women deserve that same fluidity as well, and not across gender lines, but across color lines.
A little later on in the episode, Jazz is seen talking to a white boy, and Sky grills her for it. Which brings up another issue, of it not being "socially acceptable" for Black women to date outside of our race. I am a believer in the camp of do what you want to do, and explore. Especially for these college aged, girls, and those of us in our 20's. This time should be focused on being free, and living without constraints, or imaginary restrictions.
BUT DON'T SETTLE
One of my favorite moments in the episode, is when Sky calls Jazz out for settling. Also, I know I say this all the time, but I just adore Chloe and Halle in these roles, they give us that good Black girlfriend vibe. While Grown-ish itself, is trying to cover a lot of ground with the series, for me Jazz and Sky, is that for us (Black women) piece of the show.
While it's cool to explore and do your thing, the last thing you want to be out here doing, is exploring to settle. I may be speaking for myself, but often times, I would arrive at the question of what's wrong with me. When I realized that, there wasn't anything wrong with me, there was just some flaws in what I was looking for. Or, the universe was telling to spend more time with myself. I stopped wasting my own damn time.
Lastly, the intermission of Diggy was really cute, and he's hella easy on the eyes. I hope they continue to show him, I'd love a cute little background Black love story line. I get a sense that, the creators don't want for Zoey's entire storyline to be focused around a relationship, and I respect that. However, Diggy and Jazz would be super cute to explore throughout the series.
I feel like I fall deeper and deeper in love with Grown-ish each episode. I'm so appreciative that they did justice, to showcasing how difficult it is to date as a Black woman. As always, you can catch new analyses of Grown-ish here!