I’ll preface this by saying that I have never truly understood how people could scream #NoNewFriends, or brag about the nonexistent list of people they trust etc. I’ve been a pretty social butterfly my entire life, and I’ve picked up girlfriends that I hold near and dear to my heart from each stage.
I’ve found that my girlfriends have aided to my wellness, and this idea for me at least came about on the latest episode of B Bad Bits: The Podcast Series, Let’s Talk Self-Care for the Brown Girl. Here, Lauren brought up the idea of taking yourself off of a pedestal in response to the question, "how can we break down superwoman syndrome amongst Black women." From there, I talked about how your girlfriends can aid in this notion of knocking yourself off of your pedestal. But before I get into that, I want to further explain what she meant.
Yes, you are supposed to hold yourself to high standards, but sometimes we as Black women hold ourselves to superhuman standards, and especially on our quest to be everything for everybody. The idea of knocking ourselves off of our own pedestal is about reminding ourselves that we are human, and allowing for ourselves to be just that.
From there I brought up the example that a couple of my line sisters and I discussed talking to ourselves, which is something that for 23 years I thought was weird and abnormal, so I never discussed it. Even though this is a small example; in the Black community, and especially as Black women, we have a way of keeping the nuances of our lives as taboo’d topics. Which in turn has, and is doing nothing but harming us.
We need our girlfriends by our side to show us that normalcy, to help us through those tough times when we’re wearing rose colored glasses, and to offer a perspective that is rooted in experience. That is what Black girlfriends are there for, and because of that you should consider added them to your self-care routine.